Does it get better?

It seems as though my funk is continuing through the weekend.  Right now it's about 12:20 am, and while I should be asleep next to my wonderful husband, I am awake and browsing the internet.  I don't really have anything on my mind, per se... I'm pretty much a blank slate.  I am disheartened that I am having such a hard time getting my protein in.  I'm trying to do it with just food, because my stomach had been adversely affected by fluids lately, and I'm not getting anywhere near my goal.  I need the protein drinks.  I am going to try and start them again tomorrow.  And my vitamins.  I think part of my emotional funk is the fact that physically, I am just exhausted.  And I know the reason is because I am working on hardly any nutrients.  When I had the surgery, even before, I made a pact with myself and with Jeremy that "I would follow the doctors protocol to a "T" because I did not want to get sick".  It's proving to be harder than I ever imagined.  And it's not the restriction of food - fact is, I really don't feel hungry most the time, so hours and hours pass without me eating or drinking anything.  Now, I'm home during the day, so it should be easy to set my pill pager (when it beeps, I take pills - well, I'm supposed to) and make the effort to just eat.  But it's not as easy as it sounds.

But, tomorrow is another day - so it is another chance to start over.  At almost 6 weeks out I am down almost 30 pounds.  That's about 5 pounds a week, and I am NOT complaining.  It feels really good.  I just want to make sure I stay healthy, because in the end that's the reason why I had the surgery to begin with.

And, I think my psych meds need to be adjusted.  I've been off kilter lately.  I don't know if I'm not absorbing as much of it, so I need to get a higher dose, or what.  Being a bipolar gastric bypass patient definitely has its challenges, that's for certain.  I just had a very bad start when I found out I was bipolar; three hospital stays in a little less than 3 months for about a week each time.  I don't want to go back to that.  I've been stable for a little over three years now, with only minor snafus here or there when my medication needed to be changed.

Well, I should try and get some rest.  And get some of my pills down.  Wish me luck.  Talk to everyone soon, and I promise - these posts will get better as I do!  I still have lots of delish recipes to try out from eggface's blog:  TheWorldAccordingtoEggface.  But for now, g'nite.